Rissa Writes

I have been having a problem with spiders at the house.  Arizona brown Spiders have decided to do battle with my family.  The are related to the brown recluse.  They have a nasty bite.  So far we have been victorious, but it was touch and go for a while there.  Good thing the hubby has a lot of life insurance. hmmm.

oh, uh anyway, I had the bug people come out and spray the house again.  The problem is I can’t breathe the poison in so I had to leave the house.

I went to the library where I couldn’t sign on because of network problems. no biggie, I figured I could work on my short story for Accentuate’s July/August contest.  After a couple of hours I go home and immediately start having trouble breathing. I head back out to the MCDonald’s that advertises wifi available.  Turns out it ain’t free.

So I spend the day writing and finishing my story.  That’s it.  I could probably squeeze out an article but the story kind of wrung me out.  It was a little close to home and I cried while writing it.  Hope that means it is good enough to win this time.  I sure as heck plan on editing the heck out of it.

So, now I know work on fiction when I am done with the non fiction stuff.  Got it.

Off to go get a breath of fresh air while picking up the child from daycare.

Michy issued a challenge on her blog to come up with 15 weird or random things about yourself and post them on your blog.  My dear friend Susan took up the challenge too so I thought about it and decided, why not?  So here you are in no certain order…

1. My great,great grandmother was a Witch in Italy.  From what I hear she wasn’t very nice either.

2. I have prophetic dreams. Not always, and not for things that are useful like the winning powerball numbers or anything. But I did predict 2 of my friend’s pregnancies, once before she even knew herself.

3. I dream mostly in nightmares.  I thought it was normal until I read something somewhere that most people have less than 12 a year or something. I have them so often they don’t bother me anymore.

4. I have lost my faith in God.  I believe he is real, I just don’t think he is the right guy for me. It’s been a hard few years and my faith has been tested. It failed miserably.

5. I would have killed myself last year if it wasn’t for my son. Last year was the worst in my life. I had a severe hyperemesis pregnancy that drove me into the deepest pit of depression. After the baby died I just wanted to die too. I couldn’t because I didn’t want to leave my then 3 year old son without his mom.

6. I am very cheap, but will occasionally waste money on stupid things. I think it is a control thing. I keep a tight control and then lose it and buy a Coach purse or something stupid.

7. I am a real bitch. If I said half the things I thought, I would be all alone because no one could stand me.

8. I like being alone, which makes #7 a hard one to control. If I didn’t have to work or have a family I would stay inside like a hermit and be perfectly happy.

9. Reading is my escape. It is also my addiction. If I start a book I have a hard time putting it down. I will stay up all night reading and wake up miserable for it. I know better, but I do it anyway.

10. I have only really gotten angry 3 or 4 times in my life. I am talking truly angry. I am told it is a scary thing to see. My voice drops, my body shakes and I am barely in control. The last time was when dad’s “caregiver” left her charges home alone.

11. I don’t cry in front of people. Ok, once or twice I have but rarely. My husband has only seen me cry twice. We have been together 11 years.

12. I am not a good mother. I struggle every day not to yell at my boy. That was how I was raised and try as I might not to, I do the same thing to my son.  I hate it. I work on stopping it. But I do it.

13. I am super lazy. I worry that if I did freelance writing full time that I would sit around and not write.

14. Kissing me on my neck drives me crazy. If you ever want to get some from me, that is the way to do it.

15. I am super nice to people I don’t like. I think it comes from growing up working in my parents restaurant. I learned how to compartmentalize my feelings enough that I can smile and be friendly with someone I loathe.

OK whew, there you go. The good, the bad and the ugly.  Michy and Susan are right, it isn’t easy. Go check out their answers while you recover from the shock of me…

Michy’s 15

Susan’s 15

The proof is in the pudding?  Anyway, what I am babbling about is why I lost the contest.  That’s right folks came in 4^th place.  It was very close, so close in fact it came down to counting the editing mistakes.

I had more.

It is a very good lesson to learn- edit edit edit!  Enlist someone else to help you edit.  Also turn off the auto edit feature on your word processing program.  There were mistake that my good friend Susan caught that I corrected- that showed up again. 

See my rooky mistakes in this blog post in Michy’s editing & Proofreading Blog here . As soon as I read this post I smacked my head because the mistakes were glaringly obvious when someone else wrote them.  I wondered how I could have missed it with my own writing.  It is very hard to edit your own work.

I had some wonderful feedback though.  I plan on cleaning up the story and submitting it to a magazine.  All is not lost!

I have already sent in my money for this month’s contest.  If you are a writer I highly recommend checking out this site and entering the contest.

Good luck!

The news was posted today.  I am one of 7 finalists.  Well really one of 6- one person entered twice and both stories were picked.  Over achiever! hehe

I am very shocked because, quite frankly, some of those stories were really good.  Professional writer good.  So even if I don’t win I will be happy having made it to the finalists.  but, I really want to win.

I could never make it on one of those awards shows.  Anyone see the Friends episode where Joey is up for a daytime Emmy and he loses?  He had been practicing his losing face all week but come crunch time he just has a fit.  He is cussing and all ticked off and the camera catches his temper tantrum.  It is too funny!  That would be me.  Thank God there isn’t video on this laptop!

I especially want to thank my fellow writer and good friend Susan Sosbe.  Her edits really helped me with my story. She very gently pointed out when the story didn’t make sense.  Please give her some link love people…Susan’s AC page and click on the Blonder by the Moment link.  She has a gift for comedy, and has one the 1st official AC April Fools challenge with her Smoking diary of a quitter.

If you want to see what the buzz is about, check out this site.  I am telling you, if you are an aspiring writer this is the site you should get to know!

On the radio this morning I heard the DJs saying that hookers have been affected by the economic downturn (still NOT a recession right Bush?). I don’t know if they were serious or joking.

I thought about it and I can see how sex workers could be suffering. Their clients have less money to spend, that means straight sex, no more kinky stuff that costs extra.

Those clients who have lost their jobs probably can’t afford to go see a hooker anymore. Plus many men probably are depressed and worried about the finances. Stress and depression can cause impotence- and who wants to waste a perfectly good sex worker by not being able to perform?!

So please, throw your sex worker/hooker a, uh, bone this week. Go visit her or him and help them get through this economic tough times! There is nothing sadder than a sex worker on the unemployment line!

It has been a productive month of writing for me.  Well not productive as far as actualy writing, but productive because I have started branching out more.

I shut out the little voice inside my head that said I am not good enough and submitted an entry in Associated Content’s $5,000 article contest.  You can read it here.  I didn’t win, but it was a good experience for me and I am very proud that I thought I might stand a chance.

I also have entered the Accentuate Services forum June short story contest.  I am on pins and needles waiting to see how I did.  There are some really good entries so I am nervous.  The 1st, 2nd and 3rd place winners will be published in a short story anthology.  I really hope I win. 

What could be better than saying ‘I am a published author.”  Even if I don’t win this months contest, I will keep trying. 

Writing was something I always have done.  Being a writer is my secret, well not so secret anymore, dream.  It’s hard to know if I am good enough, but time will tell.

I am toying with the idea of hiring Michelle L Devon from Accentuate Services to edit some of the works I have in progress.  I hate to keep writing if I have screwed something up and it will all get edited out. 

Anyway, please wish me luck for the contest!  I consulted my tarot cards and they seemed very promising about the contest. Tarot cards wouldn’t lie to make me feel better would they?

My step mother in law is out visiting with her sister and her mother in law (my hubby’s grandmother).  They are taking the grandmother to the airport to go back to Ohio.  The thing is the grandmother watches the Lifetime movie network all day long. 

It’s wedding day or something today, which replaces the intrigue of women scorned from yesterday.  I have never wanted to watch sports more.  Heck I might even watch baseball(shudder) well maybe not.

I do love having the step mother in law here.  She is wonderful.  She came out last year and stayed for weeks when I was pregnant and couldn’t take care of myself, much less my little boy.  I don’t know what I would have done without her.

She has been so stressed having her mother in law stay with her that she can’t wait to go the airport to ship her out.  I can’t wait either so I can reclaim the TV.

Today we got a call from the rehab nurses.  Dad was very agitated and was very upset and screaming. I felt guilty for not going there sooner today.  He really wanted to see one of his daughters. 

Plus my 4 year old is sick with a fever.  I felt guilty for leaving him to go see my dad.  He wants mommy to hold him and rub his back.

My sister and I go every other day so he always has a visit from one of us every day.  We feel guilty about not going everyday.  It’s hard though.  I work all day go to dad’s and then get home about 7 to make dinner and put the little guy to bed on those nights.  

I feel guilty for not wanting to go.  I hate going. The visit consists of me reminding my father he can not get up and get in to bed by himself at least 5 times.  He broke his hip when he fell the last time he wouldn’t listen.

He is getting worse.  He is Bi-polar and I think they have cut back his meds. Today he was convinced that they were torturing him because they put him in a recliner after getting him in and out of bed 7 times.  He thinks they are holding him prisoner and they are evil.  So we will probably have to move him this week because he has it set in his mind that they are evil and we won’t be able to change it.

He knows sometimes that something isn’t right.  He told me today he wondered what was wrong with his speech.  The incredibly intelligent man can’t get the words out and he is frustrated by it. 

He said he wishes he could just die it would be so much better for him.  This is something he has expressed more than once after we found him in a hypoglycemic coma nearly dead.  I don’t know what to say to him.  I feel guilty for saving his life by worrying about not hearing from and having him check on.  I feel guilty for thinking that I should have let him die rather than suffer this way.

Every day is a challenge that I am not sure I can rise to.

What better words from a 4 year old could there be?  What a wonderful way to start the day with such a simple pronouncement of love.  My heart is filled and I remember the joy of living that I had forgotten for so long now.  My blessed baby boy.

Arizona parents are looking pretty bad right now.

One idiot mother left her 6 year old home alone to go shopping. The poor kid woke up scared and alone.  He called 911 and the police stayed with him until his mom came home.  The sad thing is she is the best Arizona parent out of all the examples.

This idiot parent left his 2 year home alone to go to work.  He claimed he had hired a babysitter but the babysitter disappeared. He lied.  Idiot.

Another idiotic Arizona parent left his 4 children all under 4 home alone all night long.  He apparently went to the bar to get his wife but she wouldn’t leave so rather than go home and be with the kids, he went with a buddy to a different bar.  2 of his 3 year old twins were almost hit during morning rush hour on the on ramp for the freeway.  Thank God they didn’t make it to the freeway!  The person stopped and called the police. 

The children led them to a nearby apartment where they found a 4 year old and a 1 year old.  They all had soiled diapers, no food, were eating out of the trash can and there were broken beer bottles on the floor.  These “parents” should be shot!

Today’s horrible idiotic parent article was the last straw for me.  These monsters - I won’t even call them parents-were arrested after bringing their 2 year old child to the hospital.  The child weighed 12 pounds!! Apparently it was the baby’s “father” and step mother.  Why?  Why would anyone do this to another human being?

 These stories have all happened this month!  I am so disgusted!!

I am an Arizona parent. I would die for my child.  I love him more than anything on this earth!  I take him to daycare, I feed him, I clothe him, I teach him, I bathe him, I keep him safe- I RAISE him.  Well, we (my husband and I) raise him.  We do these things and more because THAT is what parenting means. 

Parenting means giving up going to the movie you want to see because it isn’t appropriate for your child to watch.  Parenting means even when he drives you crazy whining, you love him anyway.  Parenting means getting no sleep while holding a crying sick child through the night.

None of those examples are about parents, not real parents.  These idiots give Arizona parents a bad name.