It’s been a strange day. Last night I listened to one of my favorite Collin Raye Songs “A Soldier’s Prayer”. It’s a beautiful song that says God is there. My favorite part is:
Ask He’ll protect you,
Guide where you go,
Keep you from evil,
That tears at your soul.Speak to the Father,
Say what’s on your mind,
It just takes a moment
If you’ll take the time.
The song is about having faith in God and tells you that He is listening. Now if you’ve read my blog before, you might know that I have lost my faith. I believe in Him, but I turned my back on Him. I have my reasons and I thought they were good. I have been unable to forgive him.
But today, I feel like He is calling me. After hearing that song again after not listening to it for a while, I decided to go online to facebook. I connected with a childhood friend. I made the comment that she looks so happy in all her pictures. She told me about all the hardships she has suffered, but she has kept her faith and it has seen her through. Ring, Ring
Then I was on my favorite writers forum, Accentuate Services, and saw a post titled Why go to church? It was a paste from an email that we all see floating around. It was about letters to the editor of a newspaper about going to church. The final letter explained faith and how God nourishes the soul. First Facebook, now on my writers forum, hmmm. Ring, Ring
I made this post on twitter: “After turning my back on Him, I feel like He is reaching out for me, but I don’t know if I am ready to accept Him yet. God is patient right?” I received several wonderful responses that touched my heart and more importantly, my soul. Ring, Ring
I tried to push it to the back of my mind. I don’t have time to deal with this now, I need to write. After several hours of me trying to force myself to write, I asked my writing mentor Michelle L Devon(Michy), for help. As usual she gave me good advice. She said, don’t write. Work on promotion, search for leads and add non-exclusive articles to Helium.com.
I forgot there is more to a writing career than the writing. So I took her advice. I posted an article on helium.com. After you post it automatically takes you to a rating page so you can rate articles by other writers.
Shortly into rating, I was asked to rate this topic: Contemplating the existence of God. I read this beautiful article and recognized the author, Rodney Southern. His article about proving God’s existence, and how he had his faith reinforced brought tears to my eyes. Ring, Ring
I wish, I truly do, that I can say I heeded his call, that my faith was restored. It doesn’t work that way, correction, I don’t work that way. I have to hope it is enough that I am paying attention and I am listening. I hope that I will eventually forgive and ask for forgiveness.
So God, if you are calling, please leave me a message and I will return your call when I can.


10 comments
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February 6, 2009 at 1:17 AM
Angel
It’s not about being good, Rissa. There are some good people who don’t believe in God, and some bad people who do. Being “good” is subjective anyway.
You are listening now, aware. I believe things happen at certain times for particular reasons. Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to.
Keep your heart open, and don’t beat yourself up about any of this. God loves you, and I do too!
February 6, 2009 at 1:37 AM
Tom Forthe
Only Rissa could put God on hold….
February 6, 2009 at 2:42 AM
Rissa Watkins
Oops, Angel I meant that more like, I am good to go- I fixed that on the post. Thank you, yours was one of the tweets on twitter that touched me.
Tom-LOL not on hold, just screening the call.
February 6, 2009 at 3:31 AM
Rodney Southern
I am so glad that my article touched you in some way Rissa. The article was meant to be a statement of the unusual ways in which the Lord reaches out to us. I know that you will find your way in your own good time. God bless you, no matter what. Hey! Pick up the phone girl! LOL
February 6, 2009 at 5:07 AM
Deborah
Rissa, God isn’t some mythical figure in a book. God is the energy and power all around you. Instead of asking God for help, simply open up and draw on that power. I’m not a Christian, but I’ve come to learn that God is an idea, not a being. If you draw your strength from writing, write…that’s your God. If you draw your power from your friends, that’s your God.
Me, I draw my power from nature. When I’m down, really down, like I have been recently, I go out and work on my plants, or in my yard, or post to my gardening forums. That’s my God.
God is simply your source of strength. God is not a he or a she, it’s an it…it’s energy and power, pure and simple. Find your source of energy and power…what makes you feel the happiest, the most powerful, the most at peace…that’s your God.
February 6, 2009 at 8:20 AM
Windowshopping
God is a big God, bigger than your anger, able to adsorb every blow you want to rain down on Him, and He will be there when you are ready, waiting… He won’t even expect you to ask for forgiveness… because you have been talking to Him all along, even though you think you have been ignoring Him…
You are still angry… and you need that anger to carry you through for now – it has it’s place and it’s use – it is a natural part of what you are processing and a stage you must experience. You have anger in place of answers, for now. Maybe later on, you’ll have something else in place of answers… answers were never guaranteed.
A Big God knows you need your anger and understands it… and does not need for you to be over being angry yet – not until you have no need for the anger… After all, it’s not about Him – He’s omniscient and omnipotent and will exist as a Force and Energy outside of time and dimensional space, regardless… it’s about you and what is best for you…
Love and Anger are not mutually exclusive… and eventually, Love wins out… (remember, time means nothing to the Omniscient, Omnipresent, Omnipotent One)
Blessings, Love, and Light –
Lynn
February 6, 2009 at 4:21 PM
sandrajo
Rissa,
Excellence post – all relationships involve struggle including our relationship with God. I love the fact that He is calling you – how like the Heavenly Father I know to gently call in various ways. It is great that you are perceptive enough to hear and listen.
Your story reminds me of the prodigal son whose Father watched for His son to return everyday – and when the son decided to return the scriptures say this…
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him” Luke 15:20
That is the Father who is calling for you – watching for you and longing to throw His arms around you and kiss you!!
Amazing to consider, huh?
Sandra Joseph
Recognize and Remember
http://www.sandrajo.wordpress.com
March 2, 2009 at 2:19 AM
Maggie
Rissa – how are you doing? I am praying for you.
April 9, 2009 at 7:14 PM
operationkidsorg
Hi Rissa!
If you like “A Soldier’s Prayer” you should check out “She’s With Me” by Collin. He wrote it for his granddaughter who has a neurological condition that no one’s been able to diagnose.
Collin Raye and Operation Kids partner to help families facing extraordinary medical expenses. For $5 you help a child and receive Collin’s new song, “She’s With Me”, as a gift.
http://operationkids.org/collinraye/
April 9, 2009 at 7:26 PM
Rissa Watkins
I will definitely check out http://operationkids.org/collinraye/ thanks for the link!