You are currently browsing the daily archive for November 4th, 2009.
Okay I was going to leave a comment on my original post, but decided a follow up post would be better.
I didn’t listen to my own advice here about walking away from the conflict. Silly me. I heard about more accusations and I lost it. I allowed the negative to swallow me up and drain my energy. I let it suck me in.
Shows you that sometimes the hands type faster than the brain understands. My hands knew I should follow good advice- walk away but the brain was hard and didn’t.
But, after falling and getting a bloody nose I am learning this time. I have learned my lesson and am walking away for good. I have asked the friends who know about it to keep me out of the loop. Don’t want to know. Doesn’t matter.
So now I am off to meditate a little, maybe read a chapter of a book then get back to writing. See not once did I say I would turn to chocolate. Diet score!
Writers will talk about being so busy they can’t find time to write. Sometimes, life gets in the way of writing. For me, the biggest obstacle to writing is the stress of living. Worry of money problems, conflicts with others, starting my low carb diet and worry over swine flu have all contributed to my stress levels this week. My response to stress is usually, eat, sleep or lose myself in a good book.
I can’t eat because of the diet and I am not really hungry. With the 5-year-old boy running around I can’t focus on my book so reading is out. So sleep it is and I have been sleeping. I napped yesterday from 4 to 5:30, woke up ate dinner then went back to bed. That is a lot of sleep for a chronic insomniac. Did you notice what was missing from these activities. Yup. writing.
I didn’t write a word all day yesterday except my blog post. That is bad. So I am going to break down my stresses:
1. Money worries. Join the club right? I know this is a concern for almost everyone. I also know a great way to make these worries go away. Write. Writing articles will bring more money in so easy peasy solution. Get back to writing.
2. A conflict with others. sigh. This I don’t want to go into in a public way, but basically legitimate complaints were made about a project that is 7 months past due. These complaints were twisted into claims they were personal attacks. They were not. Feelings were hurt all around. It was draining and disappointing. Solution: walk away. At this point I give up. If the project happens, great if not. My life will go on. I will not give any more energy into it.
3. Low carb diet. Nope, not looking for people to tell me how bad it is etc. It has helped me in the past. Okay, so you might be asking, “if it helped you so much in the past why do you need it now?” A legitimate question. I went off the diet and then because of personal problems went the other direction. Ate whatever I wanted. So now, I am back in control. I know the yucky feeling will go away in another day or so. This is my body detoxing all the carbs I ate “one last time” on sunday. Pretty soon I will feel better and look better.
4. Swine Flu- H1N1 whatever you want to call it. This one I struggle with still. I have big issues with getting truthfully information. I know of one person who has died from getting sick and it was a friend of a friend on twitter. Heartbreaking to hear about a 27-year-old woman in Florida dying and leaving behind a husband and 7 month old child. My prayers are with that poor family. I also know of one person who had severe reactions to the vaccine- the pro cheerleader you may have seen news stories about. My prayers are with her and her family. Those are the only 2 cases I know of with extreme reactions currently.
I do know of several people who have had the illness or whose kids have had it and are fine. I worry over my 5-year-old son. I have decided not to get him the shot. But I worry. Being a writer, I can paint vivid pictures in my head. I stress over seeing him paralyzed for life from the shot. I stress over him getting sick and losing him. I hate this.
I don’t trust all the propoganda about the Swine flu/H1N1 because I know in AZ they are counting all flu cases as Swine flu confirmed or not. How can they do that? It isn’t right. They are doing that to boost the numbers of Swine flu to scare the public into getting the shot.
The other thing about the shots is if there is a reaction and death or paralysis there is no recourse. You are S.O.L. You can not sue in the US. So imagine this, a drug company that stands to make millions of dollars by producing a vaccine as quickly as possible with no chance of fallback should the vaccine not work or kill people. I simply don’t trust these companies to do the right thing and make sure they are tested properly before releasing them.
Think I am crazy? Look back to 1976 when the initial Swine Flu scare caused millions of people to get a vaccine the government pushed. After 3 weeks it was halted because of the deaths and disabilities it produced. Over 4000 people sued and were awarded money. After that is when the laws changed where you can no longer sue drugmakers over vaccines. scary stuff there.
The other side of the coin, is the propaganda from anti-shot groups. They mix up facts with rantings so it is hard to decipher what is real and what is not. I wish these people would learn that scare tactics do not make your case- they make people shut off your message.
I just want to know real numbers. How many cases of actual tested and confirmed swine flu cases are out there compared to regular flu. How many deaths from swine flu and regular flu. How many severe reactions from the shots?
Those are my worries right now. Everyone, meet my stresses. Writing them out makes them seem much smaller. Everyone is controlled except the last one. I can live with that. You know what else, I can write with that!
Suddenly, I feel ready to write and excited. I can do it.
Feel free to leave your worries in your comments. Maybe they will not seem so bad after you do.
