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I finally managed to finish my accounting job. Feb 2 was my first day of freelance writing full time. I managed to get a lot of writing done.
I had a goal of writing 4 to 5 Demand.com articles a day. I focused on that and by Thursday had 15 done. I hated it. Demand requires a certain format for their articles. You can’t deviate. It is very restricting. But they pay you on time every week.
Did you noticed I stopped at Thursday? My son woke up on friday with a 102.5 temp. It was a scary day with his fever going as high as 103.9 and him not recognizing me for a few moments. He was sick on and off until wednesday. The doctor said he could go to school Friday the 13th, but I kept him home because his immune system was compromised from the steroids.
So week 2 of my freelance writing career was spent taking care of a very sick 4 year old. I managed to write one article all week.
I also found out that I am going to owe a hefty sum to the IRS for taxes, my husband’s car failed emissions and we have to get it fixed before we can get the tag for it. Oh, and I got a rejection letter.
Overall a very bad week. No income and a rainstorm of bills.
I wish I could say I stayed strong and knew my choice to follow my dream was the right one the whole time- but I didn’t. I have been having some major doubts and have barely managed to keep my head.
Week one had me so sick of writing and then week two had me worried sick about my son. It’s been tough.
But here is what I have learned, which I already knew but forgot. I need to write for better paying markets and I need to write for a variety of them. My mistake was thinking I could replace my income- or almost replace it right away. I could do that writing 32 Demand articles a week, but I would be miserable beyond belief.
I knew this would be a hard thing to do and I knew that it wouldn’t happen overnight. I need to keep working. Wash, rinse, repeat as my mentor, Michy always says.
I am not a risk taker by nature, so this whole journey has been scary for me. Plus I have always been really good at my job. I don’t get bad reviews. So rejection is hard for me. It is something I need to get used to as a writer, because I am going to hear it a lot.
One highlight of the last 2 weeks was seeing my name under pending interview here. Pending author interview. That’s right, Rissa Watkins, author.
So I am ready for week 3 of the writing career. Here’s hoping I get some good news and make some money. Otherwise I’ll be trying to pay the tax man with copies of the book.
It’s been a strange day. Last night I listened to one of my favorite Collin Raye Songs “A Soldier’s Prayer”. It’s a beautiful song that says God is there. My favorite part is:
Ask He’ll protect you,
Guide where you go,
Keep you from evil,
That tears at your soul.Speak to the Father,
Say what’s on your mind,
It just takes a moment
If you’ll take the time.
The song is about having faith in God and tells you that He is listening. Now if you’ve read my blog before, you might know that I have lost my faith. I believe in Him, but I turned my back on Him. I have my reasons and I thought they were good. I have been unable to forgive him.
But today, I feel like He is calling me. After hearing that song again after not listening to it for a while, I decided to go online to facebook. I connected with a childhood friend. I made the comment that she looks so happy in all her pictures. She told me about all the hardships she has suffered, but she has kept her faith and it has seen her through. Ring, Ring
Then I was on my favorite writers forum, Accentuate Services, and saw a post titled Why go to church? It was a paste from an email that we all see floating around. It was about letters to the editor of a newspaper about going to church. The final letter explained faith and how God nourishes the soul. First Facebook, now on my writers forum, hmmm. Ring, Ring
I made this post on twitter: “After turning my back on Him, I feel like He is reaching out for me, but I don’t know if I am ready to accept Him yet. God is patient right?” I received several wonderful responses that touched my heart and more importantly, my soul. Ring, Ring
I tried to push it to the back of my mind. I don’t have time to deal with this now, I need to write. After several hours of me trying to force myself to write, I asked my writing mentor Michelle L Devon(Michy), for help. As usual she gave me good advice. She said, don’t write. Work on promotion, search for leads and add non-exclusive articles to Helium.com.
I forgot there is more to a writing career than the writing. So I took her advice. I posted an article on helium.com. After you post it automatically takes you to a rating page so you can rate articles by other writers.
Shortly into rating, I was asked to rate this topic: Contemplating the existence of God. I read this beautiful article and recognized the author, Rodney Southern. His article about proving God’s existence, and how he had his faith reinforced brought tears to my eyes. Ring, Ring
I wish, I truly do, that I can say I heeded his call, that my faith was restored. It doesn’t work that way, correction, I don’t work that way. I have to hope it is enough that I am paying attention and I am listening. I hope that I will eventually forgive and ask for forgiveness.
So God, if you are calling, please leave me a message and I will return your call when I can.
12112 behind I am 12,112 words behind. Well actually by tonight I will be that behind if I don’t contribute. If I can write 12,112 words today I will be on schedule.
My hands are hurting from typing so much. My child is living off junk food and whatever dad can BBQ. I am writing in my sleep, in my dreams. I hate my novel, my characters and the whole writing world in general.
I was ready to give up. Then I got the NaNo pep talk email of the week. And well, I guess this is normal, so at least emotionally I am on schedule.
So I posted on Accentuate Services forum, which if you haven’t figured out right now is more than just another writer’s forum to me. It is friendship, support and advice-it’s part of my foundation now.
Anyway, one of my friends told me I couldn’t quit. She was using me as inspiration. Well crap. What can you say to something like that?
So, I NaNo. Not for me but apparently for the silly people watching. But come Dec 1st, let us not speak of it again.
sigh.
Wondering what the gibberish in the title means? It stands for National Novel Writing Month. Novemeber is National Novel Writing Month. 50,000 words in 30 days! You win if you finish the novel and the word count. What do you win? Bragging rights.
The point of the novel isn’t to win. It is to be able to finish a novel, crap or not. So many writers have a novel they are working on and have started- but not finished. NaNo gives people the opportunity to finish one.
So this will be my first attempt. Here is my page, stop and checkmy progress…
My NaNo page. I also would like to educate people on what NaNo does, besides encourage crazy writers to churn out crappy novels.
They help fund literacy programs, help build or establish libraries in countries where education is slim, they run a NaNo for kids to foster the love of writing for them, they even have a script writing challenge.
The reason I am telling you more about them is because I would like you to donate if you can. They are a non-profit, 501 (c) 3 organization, so your donations should be tax deductible.
Accentuate Services is trying to raise $500 to donate to the office of letters and light. If you can please contribute. All of the money goes directly to the charity. CLick here to help.
My job kind of sucks. I am an accountant by day. My job is bad enough, but the company had another round of lay offs. Nope, I wasn’t included but another person in the department was laid off. I am to take over her job duties, plus keep most of mine. Hey, I should be happy I have a job right? Wrong.
I am not happy to have the job. I was okay with the old job and figured I could stick with it until this whole writing thing took off for me. But the new job duties, forget it. I hate doing AP (paying the bills) especially when the bills aren’t getting paid and vendors are calling constantly to yell.
I have a dream of quitting my job and writing full time. I even had a plan on doing it once my son goes into school next year because I won’t have to pay $185 a week in daycare.
I have worked since the age of 12. Work to me has always meant doing what you have to do to pay bills. Not what you want to do. I have a hard time thinking that I can do what I want to do and get paid for it.
I agonized over this choice and as I was pulling out of the parking lot I said, “If I could only have a sign, I don’t need a burning bush, just a sign.” The first car I got behind was this SUV and their license plate read “MMbyeby” I’m bye bye. I am outta here. I call that a sign!
So after talking to my husband and several nudges from Michelle (Michy) from the Accentuate Services Forum, a new nudge from Cindy also from Accentuate and a whole lot of what ifs and freaking out to my good friend Susan I have decided to quit my job.
Wow, It is amazing just typing that one sentence. Let me do it again, I am quiting my job!
I am going to write full time. I am going to be a freelance writer. I am trying not to freak out.
Michy pointed out to me that I felt like I was not “enough…. not enough for everyone. Not just not good enough, but rather, not enough.” She went on to tell me that I have always been more than enough. She’s kind of wonderful like that.
She’s right. Even as I sat there at my desk today really considering quitting and almost going into a panic attack, I could hear that voice telling me that I am not good enough. The more I started leaning towards quitting the louder the voice got. It found some friends that chimed in that I won’t make it. I won’t make enough to pay the bills. I will bankrupt my family and will have to find some other accountant job that will pay me a lot less.
Screw ‘em. I am not listening to those voices anymore! I am listening to Michy, Cindy and Susan. They each have offered me so much encouragement and praise. I am listening guys. Thank you!
Susan, I am doing this for you too. If I do it When I do this and succeed, it will give you what you need to do it too. I have no doubts you will be successful!
I am going in Monday and announcing my freedom. Monday is Columbus Day, the day that Columbus supposedly discovered America. America the land of the free. He changed the world. I will be changing my world.
This is my Declaration of Independence!
